Distal star proximal dog

Pseudo scientific nerd lingo for a girl that looks great from far away and then ugly as hell when you get up close to her. She looks like a shining star from across the room, but up close, she makes you shudder and cringe.

One nerd: "Hey check out that babe over there across the room".

Other nerd who's seen her up close already:
"Distal star proximal dog".