Are you tired of carrying around that purse filled with countless
useless, shallow earthly possessions? Are your inferior female arms too weak and puny to support stereotypically-female items like makeup and lipstick, insulting the intelligent men who designed them specifically for your special limitations? Enter CuntBucket (
TM), the new storage device tailored specifically to women. Since
time immemorial, the vagina has been the most
useless aspect of a woman, contributing to nothing but the miracle of childbirth and simple physical carnal pleasures. Finally, science has found a use for it. CuntBucket (
TM) attaches securely to the vagina using our patented HoleHold (
R) technology. The presence of CuntBucket (
TM) also helps correct the natural positioning of your legs, ensuring that they are always open. So what are you waiting for? Politely request that your husband call 1800-FLAPBIN today, and start a
better life. Ask for
Tim. If he's not there, leave a message with the woman that answers, containing your phone number and the phrase "buckets of fun". Do not mention CuntBucket (
TM) to this woman. She'll kill me.
Jill: Ah, I see you got yourself a CuntBucket (
TM). It looks nice.
Fernanda: Yeah it's really coming in handy. I save a lot of
money on tampons. By the way, why did you spell out the "left bracket, tee, em, right bracket"? That's a
bit weird, man.
Jill: Why do you always have to question everything I do?
God, you always do this.
Fernanda: I was just curious. It's a
bit strange is all.
Jill: Sure, like you having a fucking bucket attached to your vagina isn't strange!!
Fernanda: You said you liked it. What else have you lied to me about?
Jill: ...
Let's just finish the race, okay? Why are we even talking about this while competing in a rally championship?