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The host of Tales From The Crypt, and an icon to methheads everywhere.
I had to go to Wal-Mart, unfortunately, and I saw three burnt-out motherfuckers who look like they could be the Crypt Keeper's cousins.
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A state of being so unpresentable that you look like death itself. Typically characterized by no make-up, greasy hair, and feelings of extreme ugliness.
Jen: hey! wanna go shopping?

You: yeah give me an hour though. i just got out of bed and i look like a f*cking crypt keeper
by Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehe September 05, 2011
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After- dark booty call. Someone you would never be caught out with in puiblic by any of your friends because they are so ugly,nasty..etc..
"Did you see John sneaking over to Felicia's house last night?"

"Yeah I saw him, guess he don't want anyone to know he is fucking that crypt keeper!"
by Funky_Girl November 05, 2007
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(Noun) - A sexually-aggressive older woman (see "cougar and MILF"), now past the point of potential attractiveness/interest from her own potential conquests; usually identified by rail-thin body, over-exposing tight clothing, a cloud of expensive perfume (presumably to mask the odor of decay), tight facial skin that favors stretched plastic wrap, unblinking reptile-like eyes, and makeup that looks like it was applied by a Hollywood special-effects artist.

This reference is also due to the creature's innate horror-film-like ability to appear attractive from the rear, yet upon turning around they will immediately startle the other person; crypt-keepers are commonly known to be able to frighten small dogs and can cause babies to burst into tears.
"Whoa... she went from 'MILF' to 'cougar' to 'crypt-keeper' in a space of only three years!"
by GraysonoftheWood February 08, 2010
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That dirty old pervert who sits the entrance of the stage to harass dancers
If that crypt keeper touches me again I am Gunna break off his bony finger and shove it up his ass.
by Ted monster March 07, 2015
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people who post cryptic messages on facebook in an attempt to generate inquiries about their emotional turmoil.

(insert cryptic facebook status that is directed towards a particular person who probably also communicates in cryptic facebook statuses because they fail to communicate directly and instead elect to post cryptic facebook statuses for all of Facebook to see and comment on)
Homegirl is being a Cryptkeeper again on her Facebook status.
by googles33 June 22, 2010
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