Crash Mat 

Folded up toilet paper carefully placed in the bowl of the toilet in an attempt to reduce splashback. The effectiveness is dependant on the amount of sheets used and the size of the turd or turds. This is especially effective when used for a bout of the runs where splashback is inevitable.

Alan forgot to lay a crash mat and paid the price...serious splashback.

Crash Mat by Crackattack October 13, 2007

Crash Mat 

another word for sanitary towel, used during periods.

'i use crash mats when im on'

Crash Mat by yougay123 August 14, 2008

Cash Match Bandit 

The term cash match bandit refers to a person or persons who participate in a cash match scandal. This involves utilizing the cash match scheme offered at some casinos and abusing it to result in a £15 guaranteed return.

"Don't worry blood I got bear doe, I'm a cash match bandit"

Cash Match Bandit by Marcoiche June 16, 2008

clash match 

WHEN AN OUTFIT IS ON POINT BUT IT'S MADE OF DISPARATE ELEMENTS THAT WOULD HELLA LOOK BAD BUT IT SOMEHOW WORKS LIKE A GIN AND TONIC CUZ GIN IS ALMOST AS HORRIBLE AS TONIC WATER BUT THEY MIX GUD

BITCH THOSE SOCKS ARE HIDEOUS BUT THEY CLASH MATCH BITCH

clash match by BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH September 4, 2016

Jammy Crashmats 

Tampon or sanitary towel

'Oi oi, that bints hit the jammy crashmats, I can see from here'

Jammy Crashmats by Stizzlargh January 13, 2009

crashmat 

The act of placing toilet paper in the bowl before taking a potentially large and therefore loud dump. Not to be confused with a "poo lasagne" which has a similar process but is purely for comedic effect.

The crashmat has several beneficial properties. It is incredibly useful for:

1. Muffling the splashing sound of poop hitting the toilet water
2. Preventing skid marks in the bowl
3. Ensuring there was paper in the bathroom beforehand
4. Aiding the poo on its journey through the u-bend

"I had to lay down a ferocious dump at my in-laws house last night while they were asleep. Fortunately I laid down a crashmat so no one heard that bomb when it landed."

crashmat by Colonel Krunk September 11, 2011

maternal crush 

When man feels that the woman is like a mother to him regardless of how old she is.

"I might have a maternal crush on you."

maternal crush by Chickenrubber June 4, 2016