crank the hog

The most aggressive style of masturbating your chode, resulting from one not getting laid.

Yea boys, sorry I'm late. My girl was being a bitch and told me she flicked her bean earlier...So I had a crank the hog.

by fortsorcrankhog April 2, 2024

Crank The Hog

Masturbating aggressively, often times in a corporate setting

“I mean hey man, I don’t have a real job so what else am I gonna do other than crank the hog for 2 hours in the bathroom?” - Gebge

by anonymous June 16, 2025

Crank the Hog

Passing up sex from your partner and telling her you’re going for a wank in the bathroom and not to come in. Also known as the Mitchell Adams

My Mrs was pissing me off so I so I decided to crank the hog instead

by ILoveCracky January 9, 2026