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Crab Battle 

An event or circumstance set to take place in the future which, if attended/experienced, can be predicted to produce catastrophic results for the individual expressing the term, including but not limited to serious injury and/or death.
Brian: "News is the DOOM movie /might/ not suck."

Jason: "Yeah, right. I declare it a crab battle."

Brian: "Stop saying that!"
Crab Battle by Blank September 28, 2005

crab battle 

Words uttered to incite an all in brawl. Whoever says the words 'Crab Battle' will usually be spear tackled to the ground by anyone else present, and all parties will then engage in a fight to the death.
Steve: "hey did you see that new movie that came out-"
John: "CRAB BATTLE!!!"

*Steve spear tackles John*
crab battle by lysdexiar31 March 14, 2007

commemorative crab battle 

a sheet of paper that has the words "Crab battle" written on it. Also may have a smiley on it. Used to commemorate an occasion usually at a random time.
Any one want a commemorative crab battle. To commemorate this day.

battle crab 

A crab manufactured in a laboratory in north-eastern Russia. Has ak-47s for arms. Currently in development by Sir Pizza.
Don’t worry, this base has never been raided-OH SHIT IS THAT A BATTLE CRAB?!?!
battle crab by Pizzapzy July 10, 2021