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Shit Contraction

Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.

Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.
Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!
by FoulMe January 4, 2012
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Celebrity Contraction

When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina
Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.
by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005
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double contraction

A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.
"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."
by A. Robert Dowson September 11, 2008
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Fart Contraction

A pain you get in your stomach that can be intense ,you worry for a second then fart and the pain goes.
"Owwwwwwww oh man my stomach hurts"

"Oh thats better it was just a fart contraction"
by Pyjamagirl January 27, 2009
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Premature Ventricular Contraction

when your heart skips a beat.

may be perceived as a "skipped beat" or felt as palpitations in the chest. In a normal heartbeat, the ventricles contract after the atria have helped to fill them by contracting; in this way the ventricles can pump a maximized amount of blood both to the lungs and to the rest of the body . In a PVC, the ventricles contract first, which means that circulation is inefficient. However, single beat PVC arrhythmias do not usually pose a danger and can be asymptomatic in healthy individuals.1
Babe, you make me have premature ventricular contractions. <3
by Hoochy Mama May 15, 2011
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Colon Contraction

When you have a large dump coming on, and the stomach pains come in and out. The intervals in time get closer and closer until you can't stand it anymore and you must drop a load.
I thought I was going to shit my pants, but it must have just been a colon contraction. Regardless, I should probably find a bathroom soon, before another one comes on.
by BT 2 September 1, 2009
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