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Cock Splitter 

You know those FREAKY girls? I don't mean the one's into literal SHIT, but the one's who like blood. Not menstrual blood, but YOUR blood. They will do as the title says, split your cock IN HALF. SHE WILL LITERALLY SPLIT YOUR DICK INTO TWO SEPARATE PIECES
Guy 1: I've finally gotten Angela to go on a date with me!

Guy 2: Hey man, I hate to break it to you, but Angela's a cock splitter *takes off pants*

Guy 1: Shit..

Splinter Cock 

A disease in which your cock gets splinters in it and is all nasty.
Jimmy went out and fucked a tree and got a bad case of splinter cock.
Splinter Cock by Steven Nyhuz August 26, 2004

cocksplinter 

A cocksplinter is someone who is super fucking annoying. So annoying that it is as bad as having a splinter in your cock.
Johnny: My neighbor is such an asshole. He's putting his Christmas lights up and it's not even Halloween yet.

Dave: Yeah, he's a real fucking cocksplinter!
cocksplinter by geederd November 28, 2020

lanky-smokestack cocksplitter 

a lanky absolute fuck-up. a lanky-smokestack cocksplitter is someone who is tall but skinny and fucks up all the time.
"oh my god, josh is such a lanky-smokestack cocksplitter."

"haha i know right, he is so goofy."