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Chinese Log Smash Surprise 

When one finally drops a quality hot and steamy log that hangs from ass to toilet water after extreme constipation and does not realize that it has not detached from the anal cavity, causing him/her to proceed with the wiping process, and violently "smash" through the log. It is called a "surprise" because the victim usually responds with "HOLY SHIT!" or "MY BUNG HOLE!" or "DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!"
1. "I was walking past the bathroom while my brother was taking a shit and I heard the beginning poot but did not here the ending splash that usually follows. I realized what was happening and immediately yelled 'DICK, WAIT!....but it was too late..he had experienced his first Chinese Log Smash Surprise."

2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"

3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016