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Cardenesque 

Clumsy, shortsighted approach to all aspects of life. Examples of cardenesque behaviour may involved awkwardness in social situations, such as offering strangers small drinks or taking great offence at inanimate objects' presence.

Cardenesque behaviour is often associated with alcoholism, followed by an almost schizophrenic style of conversation where deep-rooted insults are followed immediately by profuse apologies and public displays of affection.

The results of sustained periods of such behaviour can be as minor as creating and repeatedly singing a personal theme-tune to far more sinister acts resulting in defecation or serious personal injury.
Examples of cardenesque conversations

A: "Might I buy you a SMALL glass of red wine?"

B: No

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A: "You're a cunt. I fucking hate you."

A: "I'm sorry I really love you I mean. Give me a kiss"
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Carlinesque 

A word, phrase, dialogue or gesture which resembles or has the essence of the legendary comedian George Carlin.
"The way you told off that cop was almost Carlinesque!"
"The article on the 'Senselessness of Jogging' had a very Carlinesque tone."
Carlinesque by adumb May 5, 2005
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