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A certain proctologist who has a secret identity, captain fingers, by night. He uses his extraordinary finger powers to give criminals a prostate exam until they give up. His only weakness is women and gay males.
Guy 1: I went to see my proctologist yesterday and he screamed "CAPTAIN FINGERS!" Before he preformed my exam.

Guy 2: How hard did he jam his fingers up your butt?

Guy 1: Hard... Very hard. And when he yelled, im sure everybody in the hallway felt very uncomfortable.
by MrPants September 04, 2012
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