Writers of op-eds with really shitty takes. Primarily named Bret Stephens

A stupid person; it refers to the lack of surface area on an individual's brain. The general thought is that the more surface area (wrinkles, creases, etc.) a brain has, the smarter the person is. Conversely, a person with a smooth brain (no wrinkles) has less surface area and would therefore be stupid.

A small parasite that resides in your bed, often used in a "tucking-in" ritual.

They live in your padded furniture and feed off your blood and are almost impossible to exterminate.

A clingy sexual partner who infests your bed at at all times.

The modern-day version of the Black Plague.

Tiny little insects that one never sees, but knows are there; they have been, are, and will forever more be denied nightly meals.