Basement hobbit buster
One who dresses up in an orange exterminator's jumpsuit going from door to door offering basement hobbit riddance services. Basement hobbit busters (BHB's) specialize in freeing countless grannies and older mothers of their leeching sons and any basement hobbit hoppers and offspring they may accumulate over the years. This is known to be such a noble profession. There is no need to exterminate the hoppers, since they will soon hop off to another loser in their mother's basement as soon as the original hobbit is gone. She will also take her accumulated offspring with her.
Example 1;
Basement hobbit buster: "well, ma'am, it looks like you've got basement hobbits... I heard a ruffling of a bag of chips over there... and I heard a fresh beer crack open."
Old lady: "Oh dear."
BHB: "Well, I'll only charge you for the original basement hobbit, because that hopper sitting there on the couch will leave with her offspring to another once he's gone."
Old lady: "Oh, God bless ya' darling"
BHB: "I sure hope you didn't name any of them, since the extermination will be harder on you if you got attached to them."
Old lady: "Oh... I named them all already. But at least my pension will slowly return to me."
Basement hobbit buster: "well, ma'am, it looks like you've got basement hobbits... I heard a ruffling of a bag of chips over there... and I heard a fresh beer crack open."
Old lady: "Oh dear."
BHB: "Well, I'll only charge you for the original basement hobbit, because that hopper sitting there on the couch will leave with her offspring to another once he's gone."
Old lady: "Oh, God bless ya' darling"
BHB: "I sure hope you didn't name any of them, since the extermination will be harder on you if you got attached to them."
Old lady: "Oh... I named them all already. But at least my pension will slowly return to me."
Basement hobbit buster by ~BluntBitch~ July 22, 2009
