A long and epic tale of deceitful hermits, terrorism, a new messiah, and beer. With many characters including bush the retarded president. Mr. Fucker, bushes dad. And Melvin K Fuck
Hey, did you hear about americas history? It's pretty shitty
by America History 955545 February 12, 2010
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A sexual act that requires great finesse and patriotism. It is between a man and a woman, starting with foreplay, representing the founding of Jamestown. This will lead to the arrival of Pilgrims who celebrate the first Thanksgiving, symbolized through the man feasting on the woman's vagina. The man will then "cross the Delaware" by switching from her vagina to her anus, representing the War for Independence. Next is the signing of the Declaration of Independence, signed by John Handcock and fifty-five others. The woman will give the man a hand job, or a blowjob depending on preference. Next the settlement of the West, bringing cowboys and gold mining to America. This is symbolized through the cowgirl/reverse cowgirl position. After this would be the Civil War, in which the couple will engage in doggy style, vaginal for the North and anal for the South. Next is the the Prohibition Act, which is represented by the couple drinking a variety of alcohol, potentially from the oral, naval, or anal cavities. Following would be the baby boom, post-WWII, represented by the most popular sex position, missionary. This leads to America putting the first man on the moon in 1969, which will require the couple to engage in the sixty-nine position. This will end with the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, leaving America as the only superpower in the world, symbolized by the man ejaculating onto the woman's face - a sign of dominance.
America's History - Patriotism even in the bedroom.
by May de Flower November 10, 2017
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Is the best history on the planet. In less than 300 years from becoming it's own country America has done so much stuff that it makes country like England want to commit suicide. This History contains winning wars over and over again. Inventing the most useful inventions known to man. Becoming a world super power and more.

Also one man who will go down in American History as we know it will be Stephen Colbert. And to protect his legacy we must make sure that those evil Canadians don't make lies about this word. So make sure that we fill this definition with as much positive American stuff as we can!!
In preparation for a counter attack from Canadians I have told about the TRUE definition for America's History.
by PrinceDNA February 7, 2010
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america is to the World what terell owens is to Football, what sean avery is to Hockey, what kayne west is to Music Industry, that's right, the Planet would be a much better place without all of the aforementioned, particularly, without the usa.
America's History can be summed up in the same manner Stephan Colbert summed up Sarah Palin..."Fucking Retarded".
by pseudonamous February 11, 2010
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