An egotistical blogger of juvenile criminality, asocial acts, and childish violence. Someone of complete disregard for humanity, cultural norms, or property.

"Keaton Albertson is a Tucker Max wannabe. His blogs aren't even that funny."

"What's not funny about shitting inside someone's sleeping bag? Tucker Max only shit on some drunk girl's floor."

Keaton Albertson by mantidae July 6, 2009

Jeff Albertson

Comic Book Guy's real name. As seen on the Simpsons.

Ned Flanders: I don't believe we've met.

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everybody calls me Comic Book Guy.

Jeff Albertson by sextoaster February 6, 2005

albertsons

Service first, second to none.

Lady: "Your store sucks & this bread was supposed to be 3 for a dollar not 2 for a dollar!"
Us: "You're so totally right ma'am. Please wait here while I smash myself in the nuts for you and while we're at it get one of my other employees to go check to see if you're right so we can save you those 33 cents that you oh so need."

albertsons by Steven H. May 31, 2005

Albertsons

A hell hole where even if you make friends the cock-sucking upper managers (namely the first and SECOND in charge) won't let you talk even if your work is done. Plus they complain about you and don't trust you if you're a teen, even if you're one of the better workers! And they wont fire the shitty ones!
And the customers bitch about every little thing! They try to scam you to save even just 5 cents! Fuck coupons too, that shit is lame, why the hell do we take other stores coupons?
Then there's the bottle room! That shit is so gross! It's never clean and there's always stinky bums back there.
Luckily there are some cool people! Like managers that let you go on Chipotle or Jamba runs! Or get you drunk! Checkers that are smokin' hot and funny! Starbucks girls that worked at hooters! And baggers that you can mess around with and have a good time!

"If you don't find something to do I'll find something for you"

"Why can't you take my coupon?!"
"Because it expired in 2005!"
"You guys suck i'm going to Safeway!"
"Have a good day! And I hope you get hit by a bus! bitch!"

"Albertsons would be so much better if I chose who worked there!"

"Albertsons should have a back room with stripper poles!"

Albertsons by bag boy April 9, 2008

Albertsons

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.

Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls

Albertsons by marseylover August 9, 2022

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026