An egotistical blogger of juvenile criminality, asocial acts, and childish violence. Someone of complete disregard for humanity, cultural norms, or property.

"Keaton Albertson is a Tucker Max wannabe. His blogs aren't even that funny."

"What's not funny about shitting inside someone's sleeping bag? Tucker Max only shit on some drunk girl's floor."

Keaton Albertson by mantidae July 6, 2009

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Jeff Albertson

Comic Book Guy's real name. As seen on the Simpsons.

Ned Flanders: I don't believe we've met.

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everybody calls me Comic Book Guy.

Jeff Albertson by sextoaster February 6, 2005

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albertsons

Service first, second to none.

Lady: "Your store sucks & this bread was supposed to be 3 for a dollar not 2 for a dollar!"
Us: "You're so totally right ma'am. Please wait here while I smash myself in the nuts for you and while we're at it get one of my other employees to go check to see if you're right so we can save you those 33 cents that you oh so need."

albertsons by Steven H. May 31, 2005

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Albertsons

A hell hole where even if you make friends the cock-sucking upper managers (namely the first and SECOND in charge) won't let you talk even if your work is done. Plus they complain about you and don't trust you if you're a teen, even if you're one of the better workers! And they wont fire the shitty ones!
And the customers bitch about every little thing! They try to scam you to save even just 5 cents! Fuck coupons too, that shit is lame, why the hell do we take other stores coupons?
Then there's the bottle room! That shit is so gross! It's never clean and there's always stinky bums back there.
Luckily there are some cool people! Like managers that let you go on Chipotle or Jamba runs! Or get you drunk! Checkers that are smokin' hot and funny! Starbucks girls that worked at hooters! And baggers that you can mess around with and have a good time!

"If you don't find something to do I'll find something for you"

"Why can't you take my coupon?!"
"Because it expired in 2005!"
"You guys suck i'm going to Safeway!"
"Have a good day! And I hope you get hit by a bus! bitch!"

"Albertsons would be so much better if I chose who worked there!"

"Albertsons should have a back room with stripper poles!"

Albertsons by bag boy April 9, 2008

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Albertsons

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.

Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls

Albertsons by marseylover August 9, 2022

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No Surprises Wedding

A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.

This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.

You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.

Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.

No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023

Word of the Day on November 8, 2026

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ulzzang

Ulzzang true definition is "best & "face" = best face in korean. They are basically people with above average looks, sometimes with the use of photoshop and haduri who post their pics online, some becoming internet celebrities.

"Hey, see that chick over there? She's pretty enough to be an ulzzang. :D"

ulzzang by `r i k kit t y February 26, 2008

Word of the Day on November 7, 2026

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EBK

EBK stands for "Elite Ball Knowledge." 1 In internet slang, "ball knowledge" originally referred to a deep understanding of football/soccer or basketball, but it has evolved into a broader term for having a highly sophisticated, deep, or niche understanding of any specific topic (such as music, movies, or subcultures).

Person A: "That scene was a direct homage to an unreleased 1982 Japanese indie film."
Person B: "Wow, EBK."

EBK by silwhett November 5, 2026

Word of the Day on November 6, 2026

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Yap Trap

A seemingly endless debate with a idiot

I don't know man im not ready for yap trap stupidity today which always tries to suck you into it

Yap Trap by WolfieSnack November 4, 2026

Word of the Day on November 5, 2026

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Blexas

Texas is categorized as a swing state in presidential elections, but has voted for Republicans more times than for Democrats in recent history. As such, as demographics change political alignments, some Democrats believe that Texas will vote blue, or Democratic, due to their Hispanic and African American voters, who often align themselves with the Democratic Party's liberal wing.

Blexas has been cited as possible in the upcoming decades, but only if Democrats continue to win the Hispanic vote in bigger margins.

Democrat 1: What is your prediction for the 2024 presidential election?
Democrat 2: Well uh, Blexas!
Democrat 1: You've been saying that since 2008 though.

Blexas by Tritonist June 14, 2021

Word of the Day on November 4, 2026

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