A turtle 

Basically a lesbian but a reptile

I sexually identify as a turtle.

A turtle by JJmakesdumbstuff April 8, 2021

A Turtle Paradox

A turtle has the knowledge of it's own shell, the protection from it, the comfortability of it, and the awareness that the comfortability can also be, or cause it's distress as well. But even with the awareness, the turtle can do nothing about it, as it is their turtle shell.

It is a Turtle Paradox

A Turtle Paradox by WKBI June 22, 2026

guillotining a turtle head 

The act of pinching off the tip of a loaf after it has been coming out of your asshole before you reached the bathroom. Most of the time resulting in a skid mark in your drawers.

Hey, can you pull over at the next stop? I'm guillotining a turtle head over here. (spoken from the passenger seat during a long drive)

guillotining a turtle head by spiderno22 August 22, 2010

growing a turtle head 

A past due bowel movement that simply cannot be held much longer.

Sorry I gotta run, I'm growing a turtle head.

growing a turtle head by BlastFamous July 6, 2009

Milking a turtle 

Doing a lot of work for a reward that isn't really there.

guy 1: Hey man, I've been saving up money to buy my ex-girlfriend this engagement ring to show her i love her after i cheated on her.

guy 2: You're milking a turtle, bro, she isn't going to take you back.

Milking a turtle by doremiabc November 20, 2010

punt out a turtle 

To defecate.

I'm going to be late, got to punt out a turtle.

punt out a turtle by Private Gomer Pyle May 13, 2010

Bishop in a turtle neck 

An un-circumsized penis

My penis looks like a bishop in a turtle neck.

Bishop in a turtle neck by heyheybaybay123456789 February 2, 2012