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a "Johnson" answer
When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.
a "Johnson" answer by dying_fish September 20, 2020
Related Words
A Johnson Outboard
This begins with the lady furiously masturbating her gentleman's penis. At the moment of ejaculation he performs a motorboat maneuver between his good lady's breasts (pushing the breasts together whilst shaking his face between them and slobbering), thus replicating pull starting a johnson outboard on a motorboat.
She had a rack to die for, so I bought her a drink and she gave me a Johnson outboard in the toilets.
A Johnson Outboard by the_bosshog March 15, 2011
Pulling a Johnson
Pulling a Johnson is a video game term for completing a multiplayer matchmaking game without earning a single kill against the opposing team.
Players that pull a Johnson help their team in absolutely no way. They only ensure defeat for the team, merciless mockery and a cloud of shame for pulling a Johnson.
Players that pull a Johnson help their team in absolutely no way. They only ensure defeat for the team, merciless mockery and a cloud of shame for pulling a Johnson.
Pulling a Johnson by TurtleMoney April 10, 2021
Hum A Johnson
"I hum far too much johnson for my own good."
"I have an idea, how about you hum a johnson!"
"I'm gonna go tame that ass."
"I hooked up with a bitch last night."
"Did she hum your johnson?"
"Naw she gave me that gum job cus she had no teef."
"I have an idea, how about you hum a johnson!"
"I'm gonna go tame that ass."
"I hooked up with a bitch last night."
"Did she hum your johnson?"
"Naw she gave me that gum job cus she had no teef."
Hum A Johnson by POISON DART August 25, 2008
Pulling a Johnson.
Pulling a Johnson. by CrazyCatRescueMan September 1, 2019
Doing a Johnson
The police caught the burglar doing a johnson, as he was arrested while breaking into someone’s property.
Doing a Johnson by Sorbitar September 24, 2019
More from Urban Dictionary
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
murderhobo
In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
Whale
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.
Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.
A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.
A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.