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masturbation

''Sometimes, uh, people are unable to find other people to partake in certain activities with, in which they will partake in those activities on their own. That, that is the definition-

(H: no it's really not.)

That is KIND OF the definition of masturbation. Ummm and that is all I'm willing to say''

Max (and Harvey) to Tilly in 13 again podcast
''It looks like you're masturbating.'' was said to Tilly. ''What is masturbation?'' clueless Tilly asked.
by hereforthefunsies January 3, 2025
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aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.
Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.
by MoGyver April 8, 2016
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joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.
Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.
by MegaP143 May 29, 2017
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native masturbation

When you give an indian burn on your penis with hot sauce.
Hey Cesar, I', going to give myself a native masturbation.
by fuckyourdad101inthea$$ September 30, 2017
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blindfold masturbation

A situation in which people put on blindfolds and masturbate people they cannot see.
The teacher lead a blindfold masturbation session with his students.
by 66991234 December 3, 2017
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Anti Masturbationists

A person who is against masturbation and who campaigns against it.
the main arguments put forward these anti masturbationists, are that its a selfish act.
by printcock May 27, 2018
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Religious Masturbation

Religious Masturbation.

Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.

A religious leader preaching to the saved

Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.
The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved
by Lyreluthier October 15, 2019
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