Jesus-napping 

Kidnapping of a Jesus Christ or Baby Jesus figurine from a nativity scene—also defined as Creche-robbing.

An alleged Jesus-napping was reported on New Year's Eve from St. Matthew Roman Catholic Church's nativity scene. The Baby Jesus figurine was reportedly worth $30. Police believe the Creche-robbing occurred between 8 p.m. on Dec. 31 and 10 a.m. Jan. 1.

Jesus-napping by PoliceBeat January 23, 2012

Jesus fly 

That one fly generally in the house, that no matter how hard you smack it with the fly swatter seems to live (and fly away)

What the hell! I thought I just killed that fly!! It must be a Jesus fly..!!

Jesus fly by jalama oma September 12, 2013

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

Jesus Boner by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

jesus zipper 

Jesus Zipper, the line of skin that goes from the base of your man stick (penis) straight down and around your pill pouch (scrotum) all the way to your brown star (anus).

The term Jesus Zipper was coined by AJ Styles after a mishap in the ring that left him straddling the ropes in an unceremonious fashion. During an interview he said "I landed right on my Jesus Zipper."

jesus zipper by Rattleshark December 7, 2016

Jesus Lord! 

To be very shocked

Jesus Lord! that’s expensive.

Jesus Lord! by Ivy’s December 5, 2018

jesus mugshot 

who, me? the official copshop cameo of an obviously guilty party who asserts a cheesy, phony christianity by comparing his situation to that of jesus when in actuality he's just a crook

when tom delay was arrested, he compared himself to jesus as his mugshot was taken. what a hairsprayed, exterminator, douchebag jesus mugshot.

jesus mugshot by lexicali slim September 23, 2009

Jesus Smuggling 

When a person of secular reason has finished explaining something, to the extent of their knowledge, and the person they are explaining to says, Jesus is the reason beyond that explanation.

Friend: Did you enjoy talking with David about the origin of species.
Guy: Ya but he kept Jesus Smuggling when I got to the primordial soup.

Jesus Smuggling by Botched Toe September 16, 2018