raped by jesus

when jesus comes down with spider people and rapes your grandma in the ass true fact if you commit too satan prepare the aking

i felt jesus in my ass i think i was raped by jesus

by dic kin ya momma bith April 20, 2017

oh baby jesus

A word coined by the famous Ricky Bobby now used as a synonym for phrases like "Oh shit," Oh no," and my personal favorite, "Well fuck me"

Someone: I forgot my phone and my keys and my underwear.
Me: Oh baby jesus that sucks cow balls.

by THESEAREREALWORDS December 14, 2017

Because I'm Jesus

How Jesus sasses the Pharisees or makes them stfu

Pharisees: "Can you stop claiming to be God!"
Jesus: "No, I am God because I'm Jesus"
Pharisees: "We hate this guy so much"

by ImHell666 May 30, 2018

Comin of Jesus

When you’re in trouble with your boss and having a coaching session with them.

Terry was always late for work so the boss gave him a Comin of Jesus meeting

by Dnurse15 July 10, 2021

Jesuscracy

A nation ruled by Jesus.

The deep south is a theocracy, not a Jesuscracy.

by SatanChrist May 9, 2005

jesus jammer

An extreme Christian who insists on telling everyone around them how great they think jesus is. They also like telling you you're going to hell for...just about anything and everything you do.
Usually they Are in a cult "church"
Jesus jams- god music.

My aunt is a jesus jammer, she told my dad i was a lesbian and cried.

by tazra April 2, 2008

Jesus Fuckin Shit

What one would say when surprised, angered, or amazed by something. This is not blasphemous because you are not speaking of the Lord, just some dude with the same name, with explitives added for emphasis.

Don't rub your dogs balls in public. Jesus Fuckin Shit Dude! Use you head!

by Sublime0901 February 4, 2009