schlongage

Schlongage is a situation of total crap. It is an alternative to suckage, depression, all in all a bad state when all you want is to watch some porn, have a nice jerk-off and take a shower. An alternative meaning is when ten 12" niggaz pound your ass with their schlongs.

When the car broke down, the situation was a total schlongage!
He said 'What a schlongage', slammed the door and left.
Hey, I heard Tommy got nice schlongage from those big fat muthas!
What a schlongage! My anus will never recover from it!

by Satan's Cock September 8, 2008

Schlong-Sleeve

Condom usually magnum used to fit a larger penis. Can also be called a schlong-sleeve shirt.

Greg put on his schlong-sleeve so he could take care of Rebecca.

by Charlie T. May 18, 2010

Schlong

The lord and master of Uranus.

Many people think Schlong is in charge, but everyone knows Ballsack is the real weight behind Schlong.

by Wolf89 December 28, 2005

The Cold Schlong

The act of abstaining from sexual relations prior to marriage phrased in a blunt and oftentimes over-zealous tone.

I want to keep dating Jane, but every time I bring up doing the hankey pankey she keeps giving me The Cold Schlong.

by KillerBill November 3, 2021

schlonged

To get slapped with a dude's dick forcefully; According to Donald Trump it means getting beat badly, without any sexual subtext at all.

Donald Trump: Hillary Clinton definitely got schlonged by Barack Obama in 2008.
Reporter: Uhh.... are you sure? Cuz' that's gross.
Trump: What do you mean?

by #StrangerDanger! April 4, 2016

Thunder Schlong

A penis that makes the "Fap" sound against the testicular sack when doing jumping jacks or just pelvic thrusting.

"What's that sound?"
"Oh, that's Brock."
"Damn! I didn't know he had a thunder schlong!"

by Vagina² October 31, 2009

Schloggen

The hole on female bodies which can and will transport you to the fourth dimension. It is opened by tapping the clit three times. It is the greatest secret to the female population.

"Hey, can I see your schloggen?"
"What are you talking about?"
"No, the schloggen."
"Let's make this quick."

by Roland the Gunslinger December 27, 2009