kiser

A slang term for dick

Damn bro he’s such a kiser

by Thack September 3, 2017

kaiser

1) To be caught masturbating; esp. by your college roommate

2) To masturbate

I thought my roommate was out of town, but he came back in the room and totally kaisered me.

I am going to kaiser until I can’t walk!

by Duke of New Orleans April 17, 2006

Kaiser

The ruler of Germany. The line ended when Kaiser Willhelm fled to the Netherlands, thus ending the first world war.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist - regarding Kaiser Sozé

by Gumba Gumba April 10, 2004

Kaiser Soze

a person who just ups and completely disappears suddenly from a relationship without warning, much like the character of the same name from the film "Usual Suspects" did after suppousedly committing a crime.

"we spent the whole weekend together and then he pulled a Kaiser Soze. haven't heard from him in 2 weeks. fucker"

by dirtystan August 8, 2006

Kaiser

The lowest level of fuckboys. They are skilled at making girls think they're the one when in reality they don't give a fuck about them. Only hoes fall for Kaisers.

I saw Zach kiss Taylor after he kissed Amy, he's such a skilled Kaiser.

by One two November 8, 2016

kaiser permanente

noun, it's a shityass heath care organization that provides people with one stop healthcare shopping. It's a completely overrated lame ass not-for-profit hospital, where it takes 1 hour of holding on the phone before you can get an appointment and an additional hour once you're in the building it takes another hour before the doctor admits you, who only has 15 minutes to meet w/ you before he/she is off to another patient. My advice...stay home and don't bother w/ KP

"(cough, cough)"
"Should I call Kaiser Permanente to make an appointment?...nah, by the time i get to see a doctor my cold will be gone"

by Kp-hater August 17, 2006

kaisered

To be called out and chastised by superiors at work for being on the internet (mainly www.illiniboard.com) too much

"So I was posting something on the deuce when my boss walked up to my desk and I knew I was kaisered"

by Pater August 13, 2003