benjamin johnathan briggery briggs aka "the skinwalker" , "boogalie" or simply "it", is a large, lankey, orange being known to roam around public parks and lithuanian embassys during the night trying to capture little boys to use in its experiments. it is known for being a test subject for heffley trafficking inc. its true form is believed to be so revolting, slimy, hideous, oily and dandruffy that anyone who comes into contact with it is simply too shocked and horrified to breath. for centuries there have been reported sightings of it and its lovers, xaviwavi, jamal and zac. in order to summon this ungodly creature the words "i cant do a pushup" , "i enjoy watching porn" or simply "we go jim" must be recited 3x and it is believed to show up immeadiatley and suck you through its phat hairy orange arsehole to the heffley trafficking inc dimension where you or your test subject will be experimented on. there are some well known repellants that have been used against it are: basic hygene, regular porn, hentai, women and people who are against crypto.
A- "bro there was some 8ft thingy hiding near that house!"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"
by sharon6969420 November 20, 2022
Get the benjamin johnathan briggery briggs mug.Briggs is the kind of woman time forgot — or maybe she forgot time first. With a scowl that could sour milk and a wardrobe consisting entirely of moth-bitten cardigans, she drifts through life like a storm cloud that’s been given a zip code. The neighbors whisper her name like a local legend, equal parts fear and fascination, as if saying it too loud might summon her to the porch.
Once upon a time, Briggs might’ve had friends — or at least acquaintances who didn’t cross the street to avoid her. But years of suspicion, sarcasm, and unsolicited opinions have built an invisible wall taller than any fence. She insists she doesn’t need anyone, and maybe she believes it. After all, companionship requires patience, and Briggs has only ever been patient with her tea kettle.
Behind the gruff exterior, though, there’s a spark — a strange sort of wisdom born from watching the world disappoint her one too many times. She sees through people’s performances with x-ray clarity, calling out hypocrisy before anyone else dares to. Some call it bitterness. She calls it experience. Either way, it keeps her sharp.
By the end of her story, you’re not sure whether to pity her, laugh at her, or salute her for refusing to soften with age. Briggs is more than an “old hag” — she’s the ghost of every person who’s loved too little, trusted too late, and learned to live just fine without applause.
Once upon a time, Briggs might’ve had friends — or at least acquaintances who didn’t cross the street to avoid her. But years of suspicion, sarcasm, and unsolicited opinions have built an invisible wall taller than any fence. She insists she doesn’t need anyone, and maybe she believes it. After all, companionship requires patience, and Briggs has only ever been patient with her tea kettle.
Behind the gruff exterior, though, there’s a spark — a strange sort of wisdom born from watching the world disappoint her one too many times. She sees through people’s performances with x-ray clarity, calling out hypocrisy before anyone else dares to. Some call it bitterness. She calls it experience. Either way, it keeps her sharp.
By the end of her story, you’re not sure whether to pity her, laugh at her, or salute her for refusing to soften with age. Briggs is more than an “old hag” — she’s the ghost of every person who’s loved too little, trusted too late, and learned to live just fine without applause.
Example: “Don’t bother trying to win her over — she’s a real Ms Briggs,” meaning someone tough, blunt, and perfectly content being alone.
by }}}____WHYNOT____{{{ October 27, 2025
Get the Ms Briggs mug.by ToMO.ma November 17, 2018
Get the Briggs mug.ryan briggs looks sweet and innocent but he’s a evil fucking demon
don’t get on the wrong side of briggsy or he’ll run round trying to knife you because he thinks it gives him clout
ryan is good at truffle shuffling
don’t get on the wrong side of briggsy or he’ll run round trying to knife you because he thinks it gives him clout
ryan is good at truffle shuffling
by boyoissexy October 9, 2018
Get the Ryan Briggs mug.Dude, I got fired last week but I just kept showing up and now I'm rehired! Pulling a briggs actually worked bro - UP TOP!
by margaret12 December 28, 2020
Get the pulling a briggs mug.The orange masters ninja
They’ll give u sloppy sloppy for a fiver any time of day 😉
They spend their days robbing dealz, stuffing lucozade into their hand bags with no shame
They’ll give u sloppy sloppy for a fiver any time of day 😉
They spend their days robbing dealz, stuffing lucozade into their hand bags with no shame
Lee: U heard the briggs girls are coming over tonight 😉
Tomo: one of ‘em said theyd give me slop slop for a deal, 2.50!
Tomo: one of ‘em said theyd give me slop slop for a deal, 2.50!
by bbyT 😈 April 12, 2022
Get the Briggs girls mug.by James is super cool November 15, 2019
Get the Briggs mug.