When one is feeling particularly under the weather, hungover, tired etc the perfect solution is the Burnley alka seltzer.
This is when an individual masterbates, has an orgasm and then continues to masterbate until they have a second orgasm.
For the uninitiated or out of practice a soak period of up to 7 minutes is allowed between the first orgasm and the start of the second session of self love for it to qualify as a Burnley alka seltzer and to feel the benefits.
With more practice and to feel greater benefits, this soak period should reduce until a seasoned professional of the 5 fingered shuffle should leave no gap between the first and second fights with the purple headed yoghurt slinger.
This is when an individual masterbates, has an orgasm and then continues to masterbate until they have a second orgasm.
For the uninitiated or out of practice a soak period of up to 7 minutes is allowed between the first orgasm and the start of the second session of self love for it to qualify as a Burnley alka seltzer and to feel the benefits.
With more practice and to feel greater benefits, this soak period should reduce until a seasoned professional of the 5 fingered shuffle should leave no gap between the first and second fights with the purple headed yoghurt slinger.
Friend "Mate I'm hungover as fuck right now."
You "sounds like you need a quick Burnley alka seltzer to get yourself back in the game mate"
You "doctor I've been feeling under the weather for a while now and I just can't shift it, I've tried paracetamol and ibuprofen, I've had a day off work, I've even thought about doing some of that homeopathic shit"
Doctor "right I'm prescribing you a burnley alka seltzer, go straight home, take it and I think you'll feel much better straight away"
You "sounds like you need a quick Burnley alka seltzer to get yourself back in the game mate"
You "doctor I've been feeling under the weather for a while now and I just can't shift it, I've tried paracetamol and ibuprofen, I've had a day off work, I've even thought about doing some of that homeopathic shit"
Doctor "right I'm prescribing you a burnley alka seltzer, go straight home, take it and I think you'll feel much better straight away"
by Lex Kidderminster October 15, 2023
Get the Burnley alka seltzer mug.When you are making out with someone and open your eyes and make eye contact with a different person.
Django and I were making out when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with his friend Billy who was watching us. Total spiked seltzer moment.
by Littleboy 2019 May 11, 2018
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someone who drinks and or prefers hard seltzer, typically over other types of alcohol. you know a seltzy when you see one; it's all they talk about.
"are you a seltzy? or just a regular guy?"
"8% seltzy? i highly recommend. 4% and you're off the floor."
"8% seltzy? i highly recommend. 4% and you're off the floor."
by J. Bobungus July 28, 2021
Get the seltzy mug.When you drop your balls into somebody's carbonated beverage. When dropped in, they make the sound "plop plop. fizz fizz", much like the advertisement for the original product.
by triculous May 23, 2011
Get the alka-seltzer mug.To barge into a conversation without knowing what the conversation is about, usually is done after hearing about 5 seconds of the conversation.
Guy 1: "...and then we totally got away from the cops and..."
Guy 2: "who was it?"
Guy 1: "damn it dude, don't stultz me"
Guy 3: "Yeah dude...quit stultzing me"
Guy 2: "who was it?"
Guy 1: "damn it dude, don't stultz me"
Guy 3: "Yeah dude...quit stultzing me"
by DSM!!! November 5, 2006
Get the stultzing mug.large bird who poses as human in math classes to prey on children. not to be trusted. also is extremely boring.
by uhhhidek November 6, 2017
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