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Contused penis

Also known as breaking your penis

The act of pressuring the blood in your penis shaft, until it rips open with internal bleeding. Symptoms could be a purple swollen shaft
Doctor: "Looks like you have a bad case of a contused penis"
Abel: "I Shouldn't have rolled over
by LebaAnatnom October 31, 2016
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Dr. seuss penis

A penis that is so fucked that it looks like it could be in a dr. Seuss book.
Girl, that guy I fucked last night had a dr. Seuss penis; it was fucked!
by Fig nag November 29, 2016
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Asian penis

Can be just as big as anyone else's, if not bigger.
My Asian penis is six inches long, and my biggest hater's momma loves taking it for a ride.
by SamBissell June 16, 2023
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Penis Paralysis

The state of one's genitals being unable to engorge with blood, usually caused by seeing someone horrific or significant blunt trauma.
Guy 1: "Hey did you see that new Sarah Jessica Parker movie?"
Guy 2: "Ya but I've been in Penis Paralysis ever since."
by Richard Cockhammer October 17, 2011
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Penis enlargement pills

Literally the fake ads you see on porn that actually make your penis small
Bob:ayo billy I've been takin those penis enlargement pills from pornhub and I bet the girls are lovin it
Billy:ohhhhh that's why she said it was small
by Lycanace March 15, 2019
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Penis Gnome

A stubby, balding man that resembles a cross between penis and lawn gnome who enjoys sudden power trips when given leadership of trivial tasks (e.g. the guy at work that is given control of a pointless side project). He enjoys being an asshole to everyone under his command since his life otherwise sucks ass. Generally very passive-aggressive when stripped of power.
The dude at the desk next to me has become the penis gnome after becoming the office safety manager. He totally bitched me out for leaving the toilet seat up in the bathroom in front of everyone.
by Senor Dank Nugs March 10, 2018
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Penis wrinkle

When your roommate order McDonalds without asking if you want any.
Adam is a goddamn penis wrinkle.
by bobsicle February 3, 2019
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