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Calamari Hoopla

The act of flinging sizzling hot Calamari on a gentleman's fully erect penis. If successful, the gentleman should shout Hoopla, Hoopla Hoopla whilst trying to remove the hot Calamari before 2nd degree burns occur. No one wants that of course.
"Would you like to play Calamari Hoopla tonight darling? I have some spare Calamari, I thought it might be fun?"
by Humpabalooshka October 27, 2022
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clamarama

The definitive term for a hockey deke gone wrong that ends up in the deking parties favour. Stapled by senior clam Rodriguez (the first) in his debut season on the Greenville Swamp Rabbits circa 2015
That was an unexpected turnout of a play, talk about a Clamarama
by Mysockstastelikewine420 May 13, 2023
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calamari tugboat

Getting a firm handjob from a sailor while covered in squid ink
Petty officer told me that he was gonna show me the calamari tugboat maneuver, I'm not sure what that is but he's been so helpful since I got here
by TheLordOfFridges June 12, 2024
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Calamari Kiss

When a cat presents its butthole to you, or presses (kisses) it on your leg, as a form of reverence, formal inter species greeting, or to marks its human territory.
A kiss is just a kiss, but a calamari kiss means your family. *Howdoin!*”
by Jean_Creme March 16, 2025
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The Calamari

When you and your partner press asshole to asshole and both push at the same time so they suction cup together.
Last night in the bath me and my lady did the calamari and she ripped out some of my butthole hair
by Cliffypoo June 21, 2017
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Urban Calamari

Used condoms one finds in parking lots and back alleys.
The used condoms in the puddle behind my favorite strip club looks like urban calamari with an opaque creamy filling.
by Urban Calamari December 21, 2019
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One calamari away from losing it

When you're having such a terrible time that you are one inconvenience away from losing your shit. When you expect onion rings and find out its calamari.
After the shit day I've had I am one calamari away from losing it.
by anonymous October 13, 2020
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