Santa Claus

A creepy stalker who watches children 24/7 and makes a “naughty list” the uses this list to choose which children’s houses to break into and steal milk and baked goods, which undoubtedly contributes to his obesity. We don’t know much about him, but this old (probably in his 1000s) creep has gained the trust of children worldwide. The only question is, “Is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: Hey, I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go get em.
Me: but what if it’s Santa Claus?
Macaulay Culkin: You’re right... I’ll bring extra bricks!
Me: good thinking! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020

Santa Claus

A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020

Santa Claus

A mysterious fat entity, said to dress in red clothing, that sneaks into houses and steals food. The common scientific name for this strange, rotund creature is "Homo holidayus". It is also known to enslave caribou to carry it's fat self to more food. One field study conducted near this creature's home base revealed another major fact: He also enslaves dwarfed human beings. Also observed was a caribou with a strange, glowing red nose.

Person 1: Did you hear about the cookie thefts last night?
Person 2: Yeah, they were caused by the infamous Santa Claus.

by -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- January 5, 2021

Scranta Claus

A sexual attraction to Old St Nick

“Just the thought of December 25th is making me weak at the knees, I wanna scran that big bowl of jelly!”

“I’ll give him a proper scranta claus”

by iSqueak November 25, 2021

Santa Clausing

When you have a shit and you don't want to go to the bathroom so you slide that shit up and down your asshole.

I've been Santa Clausing since the first act.

by erferfin February 11, 2022

Foot claustrophobia

Foot claustrophobia is a term used to describe claustrophobia felt in the feet. The sensation is often det while putting on ski boots, most commonly when the foot is halfway in the boot, but the foot gets stuck and get be pulled out, or be put in all the way. A sense of panic similar to claustrophobia commonly occurs, thus the name "foot claustrophobia".

1: bro, do you want to go skiing today?
2: sorry man, i unfortunately have severe case of foot claustrophobia
1: that isn't even condition
2: it is though
1: pussy

by angus n COD February 20, 2023

earthquake causer

when someone is so fat if they fall they can cause a whole earthquake

Bro: Dawg. Why the hell are you so fat? You are an earthquake causer.
Dawg: HEY! What the hell. Im not fat! Im normal!

by ChickenLover581 May 22, 2023