toilet condom

when you go to do your business in a gross, public bathroom, you cover the pee-covered toilet seat with toilet paper, acting as a condom.

MARK: hey i got to take a dump.

PHAREESH: dude, your gonna take one HERE!?

MARK: im gonna slip on a toilet condom

PHAREESH: Oh ok.

by smash ink March 31, 2010

toilet

A porcelain deposit for waste of the human butt. Great place for an epiphany.

"Hey the toilet's on fire."

"Now where are we going to make important decisions??"

by blickery August 6, 2008

Toilet Varnish

A case of severe diarrhea which "varnishes" the toilet brown...also called "Toilet Paint".
Toilet Varnish is extremely difficult to clean if it is not flushed within a week.

after all those grapes i needed to go varnish the toilet...

i said to my sister: "I'm not cleaning your Toilet Varnish!"

by FNX September 11, 2005

toilet teeth

When you wake up with a shit smell emitting from your mouth. Halitosis times ten!!!

Leila did you eat shit for dinner last night? You have a bad case of toilet teeth this morning.

by Todd918 January 9, 2008

toilet ninja

A person who is unbelievably quite when using a restroom.

Hey man, have you ever notiched how Zack is total toilet ninja?

by PhilipSkovgaard April 1, 2009

toilet gagger

A crap so big that it will not flush.

I went to use the can but there was a toilet gagger in there and could not plant my ass over it.

by Deer Head Joe August 28, 2009

Toilet Jockey

Strictly a Male based role. When using a urinal in a Club or Pub another man feels the need to converse, normally making eye contact, just to make the situation even more awkward.

Guy 1: "How'd it go last night with that girl?"

Guy 2 "Dude! Every time I had a piss there was a toilet jockey talking at me. Completely put me off my stride "

by Ashbk February 3, 2010