Look at that picture of a woman's body in a skimpy bikini! I believe I've discovered new masturbation fodder!
by sluttytawny March 19, 2023
Get the Masturbation fodder mug.The act of masturbation right before an impending tragedy or catastrophic event. Leads to a brisk and usually unsatisfying climax.
Ryan: did you hear about the new findings in flight 97 black box?
Kevin: nah man
Ryan: apparently several passengers broke out in a furious panic masturbation session during the nosedive
Kevin: how were the climaxes?
Ryan: brisk and usually unsatisfying
Kevin: nah man
Ryan: apparently several passengers broke out in a furious panic masturbation session during the nosedive
Kevin: how were the climaxes?
Ryan: brisk and usually unsatisfying
by Ryan McKevin July 24, 2013
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The act of masturbating to a girl (or guy) from your past who at one point was extremely attractive but is no longer due to aging or weight gain. The masturbator would then jerk off to a mental image of how the once attractive girl looked in the past (retroactively) rather than how she looks currently. This occurs quite often when thinking about aging female celebrities who at point were major sex symbols.
Similar to "nostalgia wank".
Similar to "nostalgia wank".
Rick: Yo man, did you see Chloë at our ten year high school reunion?
Matt: Yea, brah. She got fat. Fuckin' shame, she used to be sooooo hot.
Rick: I know right? I'm gonna find an old yearbook and beat off to the way she used to look in high school.
Matt: Good ol' retroactive masturbation! Ya know, for a quicker yank, you could just scroll backwards through her Facebook profile photos.
Matt: Yea, brah. She got fat. Fuckin' shame, she used to be sooooo hot.
Rick: I know right? I'm gonna find an old yearbook and beat off to the way she used to look in high school.
Matt: Good ol' retroactive masturbation! Ya know, for a quicker yank, you could just scroll backwards through her Facebook profile photos.
by jodielover81 October 4, 2018
Get the Retroactive masturbation mug.by haha yeah man that shits funny January 2, 2020
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Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.
AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’
AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’
by FreakyFelonFriday February 6, 2021
Get the Mental Masturbation mug.When an individual subscribing to a particular religion boasts about their good deeds, charitable donations, and seeming-selfless acts in an attempt to be recognised as a more “god-like” person, or “doing god’s work”. Sometimes at the expense of embarrassment and humiliation to the recipient of the giver’s self-serving “generosity”.
Could be Similar and related to “virtue signaling” “white savior complex”
Could be Similar and related to “virtue signaling” “white savior complex”
Examples of Occurrence:
“Yah so I was in Costa Rica setting up these churches to provide food to starving children and….
Did I tell you that I bought a house for John? Man he just really needs a hand-up right now and I’m blessed to be the hands and feet of Jesus… His drug addiction has just really flipped his life upside down.”
“We mobilised like 20 people to get her moved
In with a new baby crib and kids stuff that same weekend. Her boyfriend beats on her and she got pregnant really young so has been living hand-to-fist. We invited her to church Sunday!”
Every time I meet with that guy, he just spiritually masturbates the entire time. Never shuts up about all the good deeds he does for down-and-outs. Really personal information too.
It seems like everyone from that church is addicted to spiritual masturbation.
“Yah so I was in Costa Rica setting up these churches to provide food to starving children and….
Did I tell you that I bought a house for John? Man he just really needs a hand-up right now and I’m blessed to be the hands and feet of Jesus… His drug addiction has just really flipped his life upside down.”
“We mobilised like 20 people to get her moved
In with a new baby crib and kids stuff that same weekend. Her boyfriend beats on her and she got pregnant really young so has been living hand-to-fist. We invited her to church Sunday!”
Every time I meet with that guy, he just spiritually masturbates the entire time. Never shuts up about all the good deeds he does for down-and-outs. Really personal information too.
It seems like everyone from that church is addicted to spiritual masturbation.
by PerMyLastEmail April 22, 2022
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