painful tortoise

when a male or female eats nails, then poops out a spiky turd causing massive pain in the sphinctor area.
" dude, after i was in home depot i had a painful tortoise"
by darksentinal4 April 10, 2010
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tortoise twat

When a woman has a forward facing vagina along with a FUPA creating a crotch that looks like a tortoise.
The yoga pants the girl was wearing, really accented her tortoise Twatt.
by Soup Daddy December 20, 2017
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Flapping tortoise

As the male is about to unload his Sanjay semen pull out and he put his beef whistle near the women nose and release the Jesus juice into her nose so the baby batter comes out the mouth of the women thus creating the flapping tortoise
by The sex guru August 06, 2013
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Curious Tortoise

A (usually unexpected and unwanted) poop that starts to stick out it's head to check out what's happening, usually as it's owner is running to the bathroom in an attempt to deposit it before it fully merges.
I tried to casually let one go and thought I'd got away with it, but then I felt something poking at the back of my pants. It was like a curious tortoise straining it's head to see the world around it.

I made it to the bathroom just in time and it had a water birth. Now I have to wash my jocks.
by DustyRoads September 27, 2013
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Nortis tortoise

South African slang for "definitely not"
Friend - Hey, Hughs in town. Do you want to go to his house and hit some bongs
Me - Hugh Newlands? The guy who packed a bag of my nicest clothes and went on the run?
Friend - Uh yeah, that Hugh. but he did say he was sorry and he has some A grade weed. So do you wanna go?
Me - Nortis tortoise
by Lanboi June 07, 2018
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Revenge tortoise

The action of giving/threatening to give a tortoise as a present meant to seek revenge on someone for as long as the tortoise lives (approx. 100 years) for suffering caused from their actions. Commonly refered to as an RT.
Im totally going to RT Sally for moving away to Vancouver for so long.

Steph isnt responding to our messages, maybe a revenge tortoise will teach her a lesson.
by fairy in the water May 25, 2012
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