Home of neurotic lying scum living beyond their means.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Here is a user's guide to living in Calabasas:
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
by Freckles are beautiful January 14, 2010
Get the Calabasas mug.Truly a beautiful girl. She has a heart of gold, but a man has never truly had her love. Guys come and go in her life, and she won't give in to them. You can call her "The one who got away."
Her friends and her family come before anything else. A true country girl at heart, born and raised in a small town.
Extremely independent, and won't ask anyone for anything. Always appreciates the little things. Give her you're heart, and she'd never break it.
Rockin body, gorgeous smile. Once you have a Caela, you hold on tight and love her forever.
She is as unique as the spelling of her name.
Her friends and her family come before anything else. A true country girl at heart, born and raised in a small town.
Extremely independent, and won't ask anyone for anything. Always appreciates the little things. Give her you're heart, and she'd never break it.
Rockin body, gorgeous smile. Once you have a Caela, you hold on tight and love her forever.
She is as unique as the spelling of her name.
by Swaggitup September 6, 2011
Get the Caela mug.Cala Maria is the mermaid boss in Cuphead that pretty much everyone in the fandom has a crush on besides King Dice. She is commonly shipped with Mugman.
by joshler is real fite me January 4, 2018
Get the Cala Maria mug.A sweet, smart, strong woman who is surrounded by people who love her. She is happy, healthy, kind, and breath-takingly beautiful.
by MsFitz February 16, 2010
Get the Cailan mug.stuck up, bitchy, horny, "straight but willing to experiment", rich, slut princesses (with the exception of the minority of genuine people) and many of the guys are self centered egotistical testosterone filled jackasses with their heads shoved so far up their asses they cant see anymore and can go fuck the horses they rode in on twice because they are chauvinistic, condescending, patronizing, manipulative, imbroglio-causing, mannerless, naive, pricks with no respect and it is disgusting how they treat women and think so highly of themselves... then again the way many of the girls around here act, they probably deserve it, if theyre not totally provoking them.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
by Jessi December 30, 2003
Get the Calabasas mug.Transportation for low income public. Transportation to the local hospital. The cost which will never be recovered due to lack of health insurance. Person will usally wait until latenight and have minimum of one vehicle in yard or driveway, and rest of the family memebers will follow to hospital.
Teresa had a cold for sevral days, Late lastnight she decided to call 911 for a Cabulance to transport her to the hospital. She asked her boyfriend to follow in her mother's car.
by jerrys world April 19, 2006
Get the cabulance mug.total know-it-all, original styled, drama queen who loves any form of attention. Intelligent, but no common sense.
by Belinda McEntyre February 3, 2010
Get the Caladea mug.