calculus

Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.

Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.

by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008

Calcutta splutter

A long and haphazard trail of liquidized faeces, left by dogs with serious gastro-intestinal problems.

With wonder and awe we followed the Calcutta Splutter from avenue to alleyway.

by TheDefenestrator April 15, 2005

pre calculus

a TOTAL waste of time and effort

Person 1: You take pre calculus?
Person 2: Yeah, it's mad hard

by PolandSprings00 June 12, 2019

pre-calculus

A course on outdated mathematics that is not necessary when a higher level of math has been reached. Its main purpose is to amplify the beauty of Calculus, where everything is so much easier thanks to the derivative.

Pre-Calculus Student: Hey, can you help me with my pre-calculus homework?
Me: No, I'm a mathematician.

by Urban Dictionary August 16, 2012

Calculator

My brain, my every ounce of being human

Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?

Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?

Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.

Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator

Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT

by Who The Douce Are You? April 12, 2005

Calcium Anthropology

The study of Milk Men. Originally revealed in the comedy of Steven Wright.

The leading scientists in Calcium Anthropology concluded that the extinction of the indigenous Milk Men was due to their increasing futileness over the years.

by ramsgoldberg61 February 8, 2010

calculator monkey

Stereotypically, any Asian that is amazing at any math and/or math concepts and that can compute all of these concepts without the use of the calculator. These are typically the Asians that succeed in any classes having to do with math or science with little to no work being done as it just comes naturally to them based on their genetics in these subjects. Also, you use them to help you receive good grades in classes and help them by making friends they wouldn't normally have.

Person 1: "Hey man, did you get the answer to #5, the algebraic equation?"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"

by Paceyourself February 7, 2014