A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Asked for a testimony to the effect that Emmy Noether was a great woman mathematician, he said: I can testify that she is a great mathematician, but that she is a woman, I
cannot swear.
by G Gorkenheimer April 06, 2006
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Possibly, on average, the smartest people around since they can actually back up their knowledge with rigorous proof. Someone who specializes in pure or applied mathematics.
A mathematician is not happy until the proof is complete.
by algebrator July 30, 2009
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A person who suffers from obsessive compulsive proving disorder.
-Mike, did you know that every whole number greater than 1 is a prime number or a product of prime numbers?
-No I didn't... I am a mathematician I need to prove it... (cries uncontrollably) help me please...
by Frikiboss December 05, 2019
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A sexual act where one person (male or female) kneels at a man's side, and with the fingers of one hand probes the anus in a calculator-button pushing motion. The other hand grips the penis and strokes it in a crank handle fashion, as if he or she is operating an old-time crank-handle calculator.
Sally promised the college math professor that if she performed the mathematician on him he would shout out prime numbers at the top of his lungs.
by 0 00 January 08, 2006
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The one job everyone wants you to have but no one ever does have.
Everyone: You're going to become a mathematician one day.

You: No, no I'm not.
by ponybalogna June 13, 2018
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What the school system thinks you want to be. If you travel to every dimension, you absolutely will not find one in which you will become a mathematician, let alone thinking of being one. But that doesn't matter because the school wants you to make this dimension the one where you will become a mathematician. The school system doesn't care about you.

"Your dreams and ambitions? You can forget about that shit. We don't care." - School System
School: Hey retard, heard you wanted to be a chef, do you think you can put passion in becoming one?
Student: Yes, I've made my own recipes and had my friends and family try them, they loved my cooking! I wish I could spend more time in cooking but school is getting in the way and I do-
School: Shut the fuck up. I keep telling you, you fucking retard. Putting all that passion into memorizing algebra formulas will help you in becoming a successful mathematician.
Student: *Eyes tearing up* But I don't even want to be a mathema-
School: FUCKING LISTEN YOU LITTLE SHIT. THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU FROM WINNING THE NOBEL PRIZE IS YOUR PASSION IN COOKING.
Student: *sobbing*
by retardgoose April 05, 2021
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