assault pooping

Weaponizing your excrement into an assault weapon. This not to be confused with war dumping.

Dude, just be assault pooping all over that desk. Yeah, bag it up first. No, it’s not suspicious to roll with a bag of shit.

by Kingleil May 8, 2018

textually assaulted

to receive so many texts that it feels like you have been violated
or
to get multiple angry texts

man, her husband textually assaulted her for being late.

by rockarolla July 13, 2012

anus ASSault

When you fart directly over your wife/girlfriends mouth while they are sleeping, causing a confused and bad taste. Theirs nothing the victim can do to defend against this attack because they're sleeping.

woman: I bought 2 tickets to see "Grease" the Broadway play for Saturday.
man: I'm not going the Rangers playoff game is on!!
woman: Yes you are, I already bought them!!
man: If I go they'll be anus ASSault for the next week.
woman: I'll return them and try to get Ranger tickets.

by matt pascucci December 25, 2007

Assault

Attacking somebody physically

Lets book this guy for Assault that poor old man is in the hospital now

by EtownSucks July 27, 2011

Mormon Assault Vehicle

A large van or SUV used to haul many people - usually children. Frequently 15 passenger vans these "tanks" are seen headed to school, grocery store, soccer games, baseball games, hockey games, youth activities, church, etc... and then to home all in one day. Some times mistaken for Polyg (said pol lig) Rigs commonly associated with "fundamentalist mormons" who have no association to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Son: Look at that huge van Mommy is that a Mormon Assault Vehicle?

Mom: No dear thats just a Soccer Mom who has too much money and not enough sense to drive an earth friendly vehicle.

Son: But why are Mormon Assault Vehicles ok - don't they ruin the environment too?

Mom: Because they actually use all of the seats so their ppp (pollution per person) rate is actually very low. They breed like rabbits so its more economically feasible to have a large vehicle. Now finish up your Mickey D's and lets hop in our rice burner to get to Wally's World.

by Thomas Bruebaker September 5, 2007

turban assault vehicle

A cab that smells so bad with body odor, upon entry, it feels like you got smacked in the face with a slab of putrid flesh. These cabs are usually driven by men of Indian/Pakistani descent and in many cases wear turbans on their heads.

I am feeling a bit light-headed after a five minute ride in a turban assault vehicle.

by Jules Valencia September 19, 2005

assault with a friendly weapon

another way of saying rape

check out surprise sex

by 2502258 November 14, 2004