Hand job

1: A situation which is perceived as being superficial, false, lacking in sincerity, or a waste of time.

2: A person who is incompetent, unproductive, and worthless.

1: Can you believe they made us go to that strategic planning meeting? It was a facade--nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors. The boss doesn't plan to do anything we suggested. What a waste of time, it was nothing but a big hand job.

2: Did you hear that Craig fucked up another job? He is monumentally incompetent and worthless. I get so tired of having to fix all of his mistakes. He is such a handjob.

by opd868 September 25, 2013

hand grenade

Mickey's Malt Liquor, sold in bottles which resemble a hand grenade.

"I'm in New York at the Puerto Rican day parade,
then at night I'm in New Orleans drinkin hand grenades." - Ludacris: Pimpin' All Over the World

by Kyle H September 28, 2005

hand shandy

a wank, spanking the monkey, something huns do on a too regular basis

by Bobby October 13, 2003

Hand of god

A game of gentlemanly rivalry. The two men stand facing each other bare-chested. One at a time, each man delivers a single, open-handed blow to his opponents' abdominal area. Only one step is allowed to be taken by the deliverer, and the recipient of the blow may not evade the blow and must sustain it fully. At the end of this, each gentleman will have a reddened imprint of his opponent's hand emblazoned upon his abdominals- "the hand of god". Ten minutes (or some other predetermined time) are allowed to elapse, after which each man's chest is re-examined. A group of impartial peers will decide which man has more fully recovered and shows the lesser amount of redness and injury- this man is declared the winner. In the event that the peers are unable to come to a unanimous decision (extremely rare), the two gentlemen shall again strike one another in the manner explained above, and again be judged until a winner is declared.

While abdominal fat may cushion the blow in a game ofHand of god, it is far more susceptible to lasting tell-tale redness which can lead to a loss. Placing and timing of the blow is extremely important- proper placement can lead to the open fisted blow causing a gash that breaks the skin and draws blood- which will almost inevitably result in a win when compared to simple redness.

by Goron Saurg November 26, 2007

Hand Sanitizer

Much like Bigfoot, Unicorns and Mermaids, hand sanitizer is a magical and mythical life saving personal disinfectant that is widely spoken of, but no one has ever seen.

Hey bro, did you get any hand sanitizer? Have not seen it anywhere. Don't even think it exists anymore.

by Max Suba March 25, 2020

[Hand Hug]

A gentler way of saying hand job.

All she would do is a hand hug.

by myfirstword February 4, 2009

hand job

The only suitable reparation when ice cream is purchased for someone. Perfect execution is achieved by using the terminal part of the human arm located below the forearm (used for grasping and holding and consisting of the wrist, palm, four fingers, and an opposable thumb) to masturbate said purchaser of ice cream in the front seat of one's Honda Civic. Only then can one truly be squared away.

Bitch! I bought you ice cream! No where the hell is my hand job?

by thespookyfog December 28, 2005