Equator Penis Measuring System

The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.

Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System

Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.

Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!

Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!

by rogerthewhale March 8, 2013

Penis Pumbleing

The consistant thrusting and pummeling of the vagina vivaciously during an act of sex. When a person, usually a female, gets a "penis pumbleing" the person usually can not walk correctly for a week or two. If they can walk straight, then you either:
A. Suck at having sex
B. Have a small penis
C. Both

Rondel:"Damn! Look at how Mary is walking! Her legs are all spaced out and shit... it's like she has a huge stick in her ass or something. Hey James, where did you say you were last night?"

James:"I was at Mary's house. Why? Oh, I see. Yeah man... check it, I gave Mary such a penis pumbleing in her cock canyon that she'll never forget... trust me. She was screamin like if I had just stuck a Rhino in her through her ass."

by James izzle April 23, 2005

guacamole nigga penis

the term is to describe when you guacamole all over your niggas face with your penis. this word is usually associated with the sexual position, eli posman, because it is the easiest way to perform thy guacamole nigga penis

woah! that was the craziest guacamole nigga penis i’ve ever done! my guacamole went everywhere!

by negropenis March 5, 2019

Penis Patrol

Proper Noun - a highly elite organization dedicated to the patrolling of penises, or rather, penii. Members do not apply, they are found. Just like one of those sweet colleges no one knows about.

Guy: Dude, the Penis Patrol came by today.
Montag: What'd they want?
Guy: Nothing, just a checkup.
Montag: So we're alright then.

by Wang Ninja August 20, 2003

If your aunt had a penis she'd be your uncle

A phrase used to disregard an unimportant and often times obvious detail. Used when that detail is used to divert attention from the topic at hand.

Little Girl 1: Why'd you eat my pudding?
Little Girl 2: My aunt is a doctor and she says eating too much pudding makes you fat.
Little Girl 1: And if your aunt had a penis she'd be your uncle, what's that got to do with why you ate my fucking pudding?

by Action_kamen November 5, 2010

penis shake

when two guys are naked and stand too close to each other or run into each other and their penises touch it is known as a penis shake. sometimes resulting in a dongknot.

after the big game, the guys hit the showers. tom carelessly walked into ben and gave him a penis shake.

by TallPeniz February 4, 2009

aggravating penis

also known as a thing that gets stuck in the fan

some random kid: hey i have an aggravating penis
other kid: go away, noob

by average boi January 23, 2022