n. a sex act in which a male straddles himself above the face of his partner (male or female) who is lying on their posterior side. the other partner proceeds to give the standing male a handy (i.e. manual stimulation of the penile organ). whilst receiving said handy, the male places the large end of a cooking funnel under his anus. ideally the male will have eaten a large amount of shwarma for the sex act to have the maximum impact. as the male receiving the handy nears completion, he strains his bowels, thusly relieving himself of all excrement into the funnel; the small end of the funnel is conveniently stored in the other partner's mouth. All of the liquidy stool will be stored in the partner's mouth while the other ejaculates. There are two endings to this situation. The partner with the fecal matter in his/her mouth can swallow or spit into a freezer mug. A variation on the sex act involves spitting the fecal matter back into his/her lover's mouth, who then spit's that fecal matter/saliva/vomit into the other's butthole. This can be repeated ad infinitum. This variation is known as a Louisville Mud Flugelhorn. When multiple people daisy chain this act together it is known as a Kentucky Mud Trumpet Derby.
Tony: Dude did you hear about a Kentucky Mud Trumpet
Bob: No
Tony: Yeah, it's pretty gross dude.
Bob: Sweeet.
Bob: No
Tony: Yeah, it's pretty gross dude.
Bob: Sweeet.
by viado_pra_caralho December 7, 2012
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Get the Trumpet ass mug.The absolute best instrument in the band.
While players range, a high amount of people can play this piece of brass beauty incredibly well.
It is also includes a painful mouthpiece, lots of valve oil, slide grease, and a slightly heavy case.
**Caution: Never attempt a High C (above the staff) in your first year playing**
While players range, a high amount of people can play this piece of brass beauty incredibly well.
It is also includes a painful mouthpiece, lots of valve oil, slide grease, and a slightly heavy case.
**Caution: Never attempt a High C (above the staff) in your first year playing**
by trumpetplayer December 14, 2016
Get the trumpet mug.1. The act of being traumatized by Trump in any way, shape or form.
2. The realization that half your family wanted him to be President, and you can't opt out of sharing DNA with them.
3. The sneaking suspicion that you've traveled to a darker, non-sensical timeline in one of the many alternate universes, where Trump is President and people are ok with that.
2. The realization that half your family wanted him to be President, and you can't opt out of sharing DNA with them.
3. The sneaking suspicion that you've traveled to a darker, non-sensical timeline in one of the many alternate universes, where Trump is President and people are ok with that.
by quadcopter May 24, 2017
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