absolute bastard

Acting like Toad from the hit video game franchise “Super Mario”.

Person: They’re such an absolute bastard, I’d even say a Toad!

by SebasDaFish_ March 16, 2021

Absolute idiot

Being an idiot and absolute idiot are two different things. Being an idiot is just doing dumb shit all the time. Being an absolute idiot is someone who is reading this entire description on what being an absolute idiot means.

“Jadyn is an absolute idiot. No seriously, that girl needs to read a book or smth...”

by DefinitelyNotHailey May 14, 2021

Absolute Fucking Bullshit

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.

by PeenBoy June 1, 2017

absolute unit

A person or an animal who is very large in stature. Can be used for referring to an over weight or completely shredded person or animal.

“Wow, Jeremy is so ripped! An absolute unit!”

by Jessi Duke June 16, 2018

Absolute fucking retards

The term given to fans of Nicki Minaj, similar to "Beliebers" and "Directioners"

Hey look at those absolute fucking retards, they're probably listening to nicki minaj

I feel sorry for them

by noie October 15, 2012

Absolute

When you put absolute before an insult, you make its career ending abilities 10x stronger by making the victim feel dumb.

Without:

Guy 1: What’s 3 times 4?
Guy2: I’m not answering that you dunce!
Guy 1: :(

With:

Guy 1: what’s 3 times 4?
Guy 2: I’m not answering that you absolute dunce!
Guy 1: I don’t feel so good D:

by Trendyhoe June 20, 2018

Absolute Edition

The way DC Comics has to give their best stories ever the best edition humanly possible, in the form of slipcased, oversized, big honking hardcover books with loads of DVD-style extras and a tag price of $50, $75 or $100 according to the size of the thing. There's been 14 so far, and more will be coming in the future. Oh, and they weigh so much you can hit someone with them, although the idea is putting them in a big bookshelf besides your signed limited novels and impress the comic geek next door. Not to be read taking a crap.

Absolute Watchmen, Absolute Dark Knight , Absolute Sandman 1-4, Crisis On Infinite Earths the Absolute Edition

by Hector Ivan November 10, 2008