Velvevil

Velvevil is a synonym for the Kraft product Velveeta cheese, generally used by those who recognize its detrimental impact on health but cannot resist the processed cheese food. Velveeta is a shelf-stable block of bright yellow cheese product with a low melting point.

Pronounced Velv/evil, to have a similar sound to Velveeta.

Ted: This dip is fabulous, Brianna! What's in it?
Brianna: Oh, some tomatoes... beans... and (mumbles)
Ted: What?
Brianna: Don't worry about it--just enjoy.

But then... Ted spies the telltale yellow brick package in the kitchen trash. He gasps.

Ted: Brianna! You used Velvevil?!
Brianna: I know I shouldn't have, but...

Ted eats another chip with dip.

Brianna: See? You cannot resist the Velvevil.
Ted: When I'm the hospital with a heart attack, visit me.

Ted proceeds to completely decimate the dip.

by Wyntre May 28, 2010

velvet swagger

a.Polished and smooth in manner, polite, refined, and elegant.
b.implies shrewd as well as tactful and suave handling of people
c.an individual who obtains a level of suavity which is unparalleled
d.stresses an ability to deal with ticklish situations tactfully

1) the way he carries himself is unique. he has a velvet swagger

by j.barber December 21, 2009

Velveeta

An orange, semisolid substance usually mistaken for cheese. Under higher temperatures, Velveeta resembles mucilage glue.

What the fuck? You made grilled 'cheese' out of Velveeta??

by blueduck577 April 8, 2004

Velvet turtle

A masturbation device, home made or store bought

Hugo offered to hold my velvet turtle while I break it in.

by Moe976 November 18, 2009

Velvet

One who can be smooth and loveable, or esp. cuddly. If rubbed the wrong way, can turn into the opposite definition.

That chick's velvet man...

by SoftVelvet April 13, 2003

velvet mafia

another expression used to refer to the gay mafia

The velvet mafia has had control over the Oscar votes for years now.

by OKAMA September 28, 2003

Velvet Goldmine

A song written and performed by David Bowie. Contrary to what other's may believe. The "Velvet Goldmine" in question is another man's mouth fellating Bowie. The song Velvet Goldmine has nothing to do with vagina, pussy, or poontang. The song was allegedly re-written to be more ambiguous about the sexual encounter. The song is only available on re-releases or best of compilations.

"Velvet Goldmine, you stroke me like the rain.
Snake it, take it, panther princess you must stay.
Velvet Goldmine, naked on your chain.
I'll be your king volcano right for you again and again."

by daverj August 29, 2006