General Contractors or GC hire professionals to complete work on home projects. They charge a huge mark up on the labor cost of unlicensed tradesman such as Plumbing, Electrical and Havc. Along with other members of the construction community such as Masons and Carpenters. Their job is to insure that the work is completed not to code and by people who can’t speak English when the home owners try to speak to them.
Jerry the GC: I want to be the best General Contractor in the world.
Larry: How are you going to do that?
Jerry the GC: I will hire as many unskilled illegal Mexicans as I can and pay them nothing to produce crappy work.
Larry: Sounds like you’re the BEST for sure. Will you put crooked tile in my home now?
Jerry the GC: Sure will and plumbing that will only work for a few years!
Larry: How are you going to do that?
Jerry the GC: I will hire as many unskilled illegal Mexicans as I can and pay them nothing to produce crappy work.
Larry: Sounds like you’re the BEST for sure. Will you put crooked tile in my home now?
Jerry the GC: Sure will and plumbing that will only work for a few years!
by Killer Beess February 10, 2012
Get the General Contractor mug.When you have a large dump coming on, and the stomach pains come in and out. The intervals in time get closer and closer until you can't stand it anymore and you must drop a load.
I thought I was going to shit my pants, but it must have just been a colon contraction. Regardless, I should probably find a bathroom soon, before another one comes on.
by BT 2 September 1, 2009
Get the Colon Contraction mug.Promises of emotional or sexual character made by unmistakeable eye contact only. The lack of spoken words often leads to misinterpretations with two very different conclusions by the two sexes. Probably with less confusion between same-sexed people.
In the stereotypical scenario, a man and a woman catch each other's eyes at a party. He concludes that she's committing to some serious monkey business and searches his wallet for a condom. She on the other hand feels very special and pretty and hopes to be asked out on a date. By the end of the evening at least one of them will be breaking their eye contract.
by Eartha KitKat April 28, 2010
Get the Eye contract mug.Wild sex that occurs when two men Tag-team a woman after a long day of contracting work . Both men do so without showering, washing their hands, or taking off their boots .
Mike and Dave got done working on the barn and really gave that cashier from the hardware store the dirty contractor !
by AZMPF July 12, 2017
Get the Dirty Contractor mug.A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
by eyelidlash July 20, 2021
Get the simp contract mug.This is a cold weather problem. Everything contracts when it gets cold, including the bladder.
Ever notice that the urge to take a piss dramatically increases when you step out into the cold?
Ever notice that the urge to take a piss dramatically increases when you step out into the cold?
Yeah, I better take a piss before I go leave, it's cold as hell outside, I don't want to have bladder contraction issues.
by Charles_U_Farley March 12, 2011
Get the bladder contraction mug.A legally binding agreement that states that two sexual partners did INDEED have consensual sex. Both parties sign this contract and can be held liable if said contract is violated.
by bigtones July 27, 2004
Get the love contract mug.