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mutually assured

When both parties are simultaneously guaranteed satisfaction.
By engaging in a 69, both me and my girlfriend were mutually assured a wild climax.
by JlO September 5, 2003
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Assume

Macy: are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day with Pablo?
Georgia: no, why?
Macy: I’m sorry I assumed you two were dating.
Georgia: no we’re just friends, he has a girlfriend, Divya. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
by nutella137 August 6, 2020
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Mutually Assured Blumpkin

When two people performing oral sex on each other simulaneously shit their pants.
Jayson and Steve's date was going so well, until it was ruined by Mutually Assured Blumpkin.
by MANvsBlumpkin August 28, 2012
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mutually assured destruction

Where two guys face each other, wanking off, and try to have both ejaculates collide in mid-air, thus averting catastrophe.
Shall we save the world again tomorrow, Bill?

...from mutually assured destruction
by Big Pawel April 20, 2008
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mutually assured

when ur "mutually assured it means that as of now u and the negro next to u knows that ur both packin heat and that he pulled on u u could pull right back on him
the skinny white man with a shotgun in his trench coat was mutually assured by the large black man next to him that he was not goin down without a fight
by eric fool September 16, 2003
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Assume the Position

Assume the Position is what Matt tells me to do when he wants me to suck his dick and take his load -- naked and blindfolded, on my knees, facing his raging boner, with my hands behind my back, mouth open, eager to put my mouth on his 8" cock, so he can hold my head and shove his dick down my throat and fuck my mouth until he has a cumgasm and I swallow his creamy load and say "thank you sir"
Matt always says "Assume the Position" when he wants me to suck his dick!
by USAF Cadet January 13, 2021
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mutually assured destruction

teachers call it MAD
when two countries come to an understanding that if one country launches an attack the other will retaliate with equal force
when jenifer gillbert walks into a class room
by Doughboy September 2, 2003
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