Alton Towers

A Theme Park located in Alton (A.K.A the middle of nowhere) that is home to many record breaking rides. Some really popular rides at Alton Towers that if you havent heard of, you are expected to have either lost yourself in a forest for a few hundred years or you are just dumb as fuck. These rides are known as; The Smiler, the first 14-inversion rollercoaster. Oblivion, first “vertical drop” coaster (87.5° at its steepest). There is also enterprise and spinjam. Those rides are just fillers because Alton Towers decided the wanted a Fair in the middle of there theme park. In conclusion Alton Towers is either really shitty or the best theme park you will set foot on. It all depends on if you go on a day with okay operators or knobs.
Poor soul “i went to alton towers yesterday and the operator looked like the tip of a chode and took 3 minutes to set us off in the wickerman.”

Friend “you poor, poor, soul”
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