Clout karma

The feeling others get when responding to your requests based on your public performances and/or notoriety.

Vito: Ryan should I smash this apple on Bams head?

Dunn: Vito IDKWYJS I’m browsing reddit.

Vito: Alrighfdtywrraa Idon givafukabhgout worldStar or cloutfarms.

Knoxville: adjusts bifocals 🤓

Vito: “raises arm w/ hostility. tell me wher Bams aterallahsmasha clart farmers.

Knoxville: take it easy big fella I got money’s,”*shifty eyed*, here take a couple benjis, and lemme see if I can’t “polish” that apple for you…” just in case you wanna let Bam have it.
you know how he feels about your body. treat it like temples temple, Listening to Tom Templeton. *Grabs apple and wipes his ass with it, hands it back to Don Vito” Here I added feces to your apple, think of this like adding Clout to your Karma.

Vito’s dog: *nods* N Farts

Vito: Gimmegrahgagapplekgraplfkpe

Bam runs out of the pantry and starts slapping Don Vito’s bare back while

Knoxville laughs intently, Vito Pirouettes, smashes apple on Bam, templetons greatest hits start playing on a record player. Vito’s dog dances, money rains down from ceiling. Bam wipes apple sauce off his Facebook smirks and says why does this apple smell like shit. Scoops handfuls of money off the ground saying “this feels like enough cheese to buy a website and tell people to dive into stuff, but do you think people would willingly just dive into shit because I told them to and have more Clout Karma then the San Francisco 49ers.

Vito: Of course youfukingknuklhegGdg uratheaBamMaRgera!”

by Medium Robert March 24, 2023

Flag

Get the Clout karma mug.

Meconium Clout Syndrome

When the sperm donor (father) of a moments-old newborn baby is far to preoccupied with posting photos and videos of himself and his exhausted, disheveled baby-mama to give a single visible shit about their newborn child, her welfare or the enormity of this moment in his life. Not infrequently he is making jokes about the birthing process and how he was like "no F-ing way" the whole time and how grossed out he was, "like you can't even believe the mess the birth process makes- so glad somebody's going to clean that up- like seriously, man!" Meconium Clout Syndrome has a very high mortality rate, almost always under very suspicious circumstances.

OB: Congratulations Mom and Dad!! She's a beautiful healthy baby girl and she's all yours!!!
Mom: She's beautiful!!! Aiden, look at your new daughter- she's perfect!
Father: staring into his phone Ok everybody, she just had the baby- like she was screaming and it was so gross- like an alien just squirted out of her- she's a total mess right now- let me get a shot of her pans phone towards mom who looks away and covers her face in embarrassment and exhaustion C'mon babe- smile for my followers!! Look over here! This is going to be the BEST video I've ever posted... This is going to be SO epic!!!
OB: looks at neonatologist} Textbook Meconium Clout Syndrome- a pretty serious case- I'm not sure this guy is going to survive once they get home...

by Asclepius Minora February 15, 2023

Flag