Left handed

Someone who is left handed is the devil's child. If you know anyone who is left handed, call the police to perform a ritual on them.

*At the basketball gym*
Some random guy: yo why are you so good with your left hand?
Me: Oh I'm left handed.
Them: NO GET AWAY

by follow me @AMerryHalloween November 10, 2019

2-hander

Slang, insult; In reference to a woman of an extremely elastic vagina, usually from being overly sexually active, insinuating you could insert two hands and clap.

"Joyce's neighbor was such a 2-hander, she used to bring home 3 guys to bang every night!!"

by spuds buckley May 13, 2006

Jazz Handed

the delicate art of stuffing ones thumbs in a ladys arse, and spreading the fingers out in a joyfull circular bliss around her buttocks, whilst in the act of doggy style.....

Nick: Is lisa allright? She seems to be walking a bit funny today......

Joe: she got jazz handed last night

Nick: MOMMY BOYYYY!!!!

by playfulgorilla May 13, 2009

Red handed

When a young Mexican boy reaches the bottom of his most recent bag of Hot Cheetos and the spicy Cheeto powder coats his little brown digits.

"Jose Luis don't touch the babies while you are red handed, mijo!"

by greathips July 27, 2018

two handed dismount

The act of pushing your partner out an open window upon dismounting. This is generally reserved for those situations when you want to make sure she doesn't call you back. Throwing her her clothes is optional. This move requires that you are in doggy style position prior to dismount. Not recommended if you live in an apartment building, or are on the 2nd floor of a home while performing.

This term can also simply be used to describe a situation where you banged a girl you brought home and then avoided her until she went away.

I was at the bar the other night and brought home a really skanky broad. I had to make sure I got rid of her, so I gave her the two handed dismount. I felt kinda bad, so I threw her her clothes.

by Big red machine March 25, 2007

caught-cum-handed

derived from the latinish phrase-word thing caught-red-handed. its when you know your dad isn't home and you hear whoreish, moaning noises from your parents bedroom and you walk in and you see your friend fucking your mother in her vagina and then at his climax pulls it out and sprays his cum all over your mothers face and other body parts such as her hands. he then will take his penis and stick it in your mothers mouth causing his wiener cheese to spray all over your mother. best when done with people named Susan. also known as friend-cum-in-your-mothers handididation.

Fuck were caught-cum-handed. Damn it Matt i was just about to jizz on your mom's face.

by Nigth Tigers March 28, 2008

left-handed

Cause of left-handedness. Lost cause in the eyes of educators, all due to that fact that lazy parents did not take the time to beat their children into the right habit at the appropriate age.

"All the job requirements are fulfilled...yet due to the fact that you are left-handed, we cannot hire you at our company at this time."
"Left-handed is like being ass handed."
"We left-handers also have rights! We want equality!"

by c_sheila September 25, 2005