when someone gets completely smoked or destroyed, you say they got their asses handed to them.
The Ottawa Senators got their asses handed to them 9-0.
by matt February 6, 2004
Get the ass handed mug.
1) someone who shoots shit from their hand

2) someone that sits on their hands

3) When someone challenges a far superior force and loses without a single high point. The superior force will act as if it is business as usual, and will not gloat about their victory.
The fucktard in the corvette got his ass handed to him by a mini-cooper when he dared drive his yank tank on tighter european roads.
by Gumba Gumba March 16, 2004
Get the ass handed mug.
To chide, scold or reprimand; to deliver a mild rebuke; to request that one chill.
After Peach announced that any further posts containing his hairy-butt photo would henceforth be summarily deleted, Austin got his ass handed to him.
by dalnat October 9, 2008
Get the ass handed mug.
1. Sticking one's hand in their ass and then shaking the hand of someone that they don't like because they are an ass.

2. After wiping your ass after going to the bathroom, you gerealized that your fingers broke thru the toilet paper
1. Awwww... I don't like this guy, I think I'll give him an ass hand!

2. Awwww... damn toilet paper was too thin... now I have ass hand!
by Anonymous March 29, 2003
Get the Ass Hand mug.
The act (or art) of rubbing one's hand in one's asscrack for approx. 5 minutes, then using that same hand to shake hands with someone.

As a result, the person's hand will smell like ass for at least a week, and his/her friends and family will wonder if they know how to properly wipe themselves.

First seen in the movie Mallrats.
"Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
by Allah February 3, 2005
Get the ass-handing mug.
A metaphore implying that a person permanently has both hands up their own ass.
Did you see that guy on his phone? That ass-handed bitch made me miss the green light!
by Obnoxshus Rapper October 8, 2017
Get the Ass-handed mug.
Hands that are attached to your ass that help you 'back there'. They don't wipe but they do love their peel and eat shrimp!
My ass hands are at the buffet eating peel and eat shrimp.

Damn this shopping is heavy, wish I had a pair of ass hands.
by Doktor Odd August 11, 2007
Get the ass hands mug.