by Wan King Byng August 8, 2024
Get the wobbly johnmug. The ghost of Boston’s forgotten founder, executed in 1631 for “witchcraft” after peacefully communicating with local Native tribes. Hanged in what’s now the Boston Common children’s park, John Boston returns every July 6th, the day he died.
Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.
The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.
The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Friend 1: “Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
by Wsgg July 5, 2025
Get the John Bostonmug. The inventor of the headache. Created when John Headache tried to think too hard in 1882. We hate this guy and his cursed invention.
Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
"my head hurts wtf"
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
by TheRatEmpire November 8, 2023
Get the John Headachemug. A guy who compensates with the cars he drives, and fake ice. On his off-time he likes to downhill-ski with the boys in the backseat of a shitbox Tacoma while listening to Rack City through a gen. 1 iPod.
by Not so gay November 15, 2019
Get the John Toddmug. by StraightJohnPorking December 3, 2024
Get the Straight John Porkin’ itmug. Ultimately, your thoughts on John EEE will be influenced by your personal experiences, interactions, and perceptions. It's essential to approach these thoughts thoughtfully and considerately.
Ultimately, your thoughts on John EEE will be influenced by your personal experiences, interactions, and perceptions. It's essential to approach these thoughts thoughtfully and considerately.
by Bro what ohhh Connor Boyce March 25, 2024
Get the John EEEmug. A man who ruins everything he touches. A racist asshole. Henry Clay’s boyfriend, but he will break off their engagement. However, he has cheekbones so sharp they can slice bread, and young men licked his toes
by Dan’l Not Daniel March 18, 2023
Get the John Calhounmug.