cooch turd

noun. Fecal matter excreted through the vagina. This is generally caused by the presence of a recto-vaginal fistula (a small tear in the tissue separating the rectum from the vaginal canal).

synonym: queefshit.

With no bathroom in sight, Brenda clenched her ass shut tightly, but much to her chagrin, her shit passed through her fistula and plopped out her pussy as a cooch turd.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

Salty Turd Storm

A salty turd storm is when you take bath salts, air dusters, and jenkem and do them all at once for a one of a kind high. There have been reports that if you take enough of it, you will a high that lasts an entire year! Salty turd storms are reserved only for the coolest people on the planet such as Daniel Tosh.

Deven: Hey dude, what did you do last weekend?

Corbin: I was caught in a salty turd storm and got FUCKED UP! I woke up choking on a baloon with jenkem juice all over my face and in my clothes and all in my hair though...

Deven: Dang sounds like you had a pretty shitty weekend.

Corbin: No man its awesome, wanna get in a salty turd storm tonight?

Deven: Fuck Yeah!!!

by B-Town's Pimp Ass Motherfucker October 25, 2011

turduckel

A redneck delicacy: turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a squirrel.

Mmm. This turduckel is finger-lickin' good.

by E. Ho December 9, 2008

you can't polish a turd

unconvincingly attempt to make an irreconcilably bad situation look good.

They're trying to portray the poor financial reports as positive, but you can't polish a turd.

by esmith512 April 21, 2007

turd terrorist

Someone who takes pleasure in defiling a public or common restroom -- especially if it is your office/work place -- with their feces. For example they will leave butt crust on the toilet seat or not flush. They might smear their shit on the toilet lid. Or they can wipe their ass with toilet paper but throw it on the floor. It does not have to necessarily be the bathroom they terrorize. For example, they can take a dump while nobody is looking where you might accidentally step in it.

Be careful. If you have to go in the restroom wear a hazmat uniform suit. It has been struck by a turd terrorist.

by ChEWeay December 16, 2008

Turduckin

The process of performing anal intercourse with a female while consuming a tasty turkey sandwich. It should be gobbled utilizing a corresponding beastliness in which you are pounding the female- ie: lettuce bits, turkey pieces and globs of mayo should be flying through the air, and preferably on to the females back. To officially complete a turduckin however, you must ensure the female consumes the last and final bite.

There is also the hot tub submerged version of the turduckin experience, in which you must make sure to dunk the final piece of sandwich within the grimy water and then proceed to feed it to your female counterpart. This is called a Daveduckin.

It is important to note that to pull off the turduckin, it must be something along the lines of a 'one night stand'. This CANNOT be your girlfriend. For one to pull off a turduckin, you must find a qualified candidate who is not only down with anal, but also to have a turkey sandwich consumed while being pounded. The reward, after being completely plowed, is that the female is gifted the final bite.

Used in a conversation:

cope: "Man, I'm really sick of these regular sexual encounters, Jack heads, Swingers.. I'm looking for something new...

Rob: "Well you should surely turduck-the-fuck out of a bitch tonight!"

Roger: "Yeah man! Last night I almost pulled off a Turduckin- BUT- the bitch went ballistic when I pulled out the turkey sandwich"

Sarah: "The key is to make sure you're prepared with lube, condoms, and of course, a finely made turkey sandwich!"

Missy: "I absolutely love the final bite"

Hot Tub Dave: "Stop lying Missy, you wouldnt eat the soggy bite after I tried DaveDuckin you the other night!!!!"

by cope. July 9, 2010

Tonsil Turd

Slang term for tonsilloliths, or tonsil stones. Tonsil turds are irregularly shaped, whitish/yellow, foul-smelling globs of mucous and bacteria that get caught in the back of the throat. They form in the tonsil crypts which are simply small pockets or divots that appear in everyones tonsils. The scientific name for these white globs is tonsilloliths.

Last week when I was sick, I hacked up huge shitty smelling tonsil turds.

by butlerj May 22, 2005