Microsoft

A large terrorist organisation, hell bent on producing software that crashes and works slowly. Some of their more evil tactics over the years include waiting until just before you click the save button to make the screen go all blue for no reason, but more subtle tactics include waiting until you start to work, then annoying you with a sodding paper clip.

Josh: "I'll just get on with some work..."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type*
Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?"
Josh: "No."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?"
Josh: "NO! NO! NO I DONT FUCKING WANT SOME HELP! PISS OFF!!"
*clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...*

... 2 minutes pass ...

Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"

by RICCARD October 9, 2005

Microsoft minute

Microsoft minute
dats-uh-lawng-tahym

noun
1. any amount of time that is significantly longer than a minute.

2. a period of time that is longer than projected or promised.
3. any amount of time spent while staring at spinning circles, especially when something is expected to happen afterwards.

I waited in line at the DMV for what felt like a Microsoft minute.

by Bancheis January 25, 2017

Microsoft Security Essentials

Something from Microsoft that actually works

I rid my computer of vundo using Microsoft Security Essentials

by 1033955456596542 March 21, 2010

Microsoft Works

1) Word processing program by the Microsoft Corporation

2) Oxymoron

1) Microsoft Works sucks, I'm going to get a bootlegged copy of Office.

2) Microsoft works? No it doesn't.

by Nick April 3, 2003

Microsoft Autoupdating

Constant jizzle for a period longer than 24 hours

Mr. Schachter: "You ok bud?"

T-Dog: "Yeah man im just Microsoft Autoupdating right now that's why I have a fire-hose attached to my cock."

by One-Pump-Shotgun October 8, 2018

Microsoft Tech Support

A middle-aged man named Vihaan, greets you with the phrase, "Microsoft Tech Support, how may I help you?"

Me: Hi, I got this message and it says to call you.
Vihaan: "Microsoft Tech Support, how may I help you?"
Me: *hangs up*

by XDhobo June 10, 2019

microsoft tech support

a kid named tahim

Kid1: My computer won't turn on!
Microsoft Tech Support: Hello my name is Tahim how may I help you?

by RyanTheKid March 31, 2017