wife 

verb: when one of your friends gets married to a chick that is pure evil. The most common result of which is never seeing your friend again because his new wife has sucked the marrow of life out of your friendship. Used in anger, general despair, or for humorous effect when all you can do is laugh about the whole situation because it's so retarded.

1. Dude, he totally got wifed!
2. She's got him so wifed, he doesn't know his moose-knuckle from a pimply walnut.
or when marriage becomes a quickly-approaching cloud of doom...
3. She's wifing him, man. It's only a matter of time :(

wife by colin February 25, 2004

Wife 

Formally known as Satan, will remove genitals if wed

my wife removed my genitals because she is the devil

Wife by Pakidz December 9, 2006

wife 

Someone you can turn on when it gets dark.

Come on, wife, let's make some ugly children!

wife by PlayMakeReview February 19, 2022

wife 

something you'll never have

me: you'll never have a wife
you: SAD

wife by mmmmmmmmmmhm June 15, 2022

wife 

1. The absolute worst thing that can ever happen to a man.
2. A ruthless lie masking a hideous truth.
3. When you are totally and completely fucked out of everything and have to start all over again no matter how loyal, hardworking attentive, or just plain fucking awesome you were while being stabbed in the back.

4. Something no one understands until they have one and then it is too late, all is lost.

5. Another word for "life toilet".

1. Don't do it, omfg no, please, really don't!
2. No really, she gives you blow jobs now but when she is your wife you'll never get a blow job again unless you cheat on her.
3. Dude you got WIFED, just blow your fucking brains out if you have the balls, or be like the rest of us and just pretend to be happy while our hearts, souls, minds and finances are being endlessly and brutally raped.
4. Seriously, you don't get it, trust me you don't want to get because only people in hell (aka husbands) really know.

5. I gave her all of my money, my time, all of my hard work and commitment, and after she made me her dickless, balless snivling little bitch she legally stole all of my money and left home, now she is paying for her boyfriends crack addiction with the child support payments which make up more than half of my paycheck while my kids go without decent clothes.

wife by TomSax November 11, 2013

Wife 

The number one stalker in your life. Your consciousness, the number one voice in your head. Whatever has marked you as its prey.

I was trying to get away from this guy that was following me around, then I thought, "time to throw on the good ol wife beater."

Wife by Anthony Wheeler October 12, 2007

Wife 

The person you exchange milk with

Husband: Can I have some milk
Wife: Sure

Wife by Nedac rette November 4, 2019