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Pork Scotch Keys

A huge bunch of keys carried by little fat security guards because it makes them feel important. The only keys actually used are the ones to his house, his mum's house and his silly white van. The 58 others are ones he's found.
Look at that guy's keyring! He must own lots of houses and cars.

Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.

What a nobhead.
by benny twadge May 24, 2009
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Pork Scotch's 'Girlfriend'

A manly, wrinkly woman that is the 'girlfriend of Pork Scotch. She has rabbit teeth and is as ugly and manly as Pork Scotch himself. She has a spac grandson and wears old bagish clothes that shit stained schumachers would wear. By going out with her, this proves Pork Scotch's Homosexuality.
Ugghhh! Look, it's Pork Scotch's 'girlfriend'. I hate her! UGLY Bitch!!! Eating garlic bread at the green plastic table with Porky doing his famous drunken dance.
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Related Words

Pork Scotch music

The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?

Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
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Shutchyafanoff

A three-worded command, 'Shut your fan off' all rolled into one to make it easier to say while walking down the hall past bedrooms of a house. It's a command our landlord uses at an attempt to save $0.25 on her monthly electric bill, to prevent us from using our fans. This usually happens on a 95+ degree day when there's no air conditioning or breeze to offer relief.
Landlord: "Shutchyafanoff!"
Me: "Aw, come on, its so hot! I'm absolutely roasting in here!
Landlord: "Tough! In my day we didn't have fans, as electricity hadn't been invented yet!"
Me: "This isn't fair!"
by reggaetonLatino24 July 20, 2010
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Scotch Fillet

A flaccid cock unable to achieve erection due to alcohol consumption.
Rhonda was so horny she couldn't wait for her boyfriend to get home to pound her cervix. However he drank too much partying and when he got home he had a Scotch Fillet. Rhonda settled for sucking on his wet noodle while she diddled herself.
by Eaton Holgoode May 25, 2015
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Man Scotch

Man Scotch: The action of aimlessly jumping from man to man, or relationship to relationship to fill a void in a female's heart or legs.
Guy A: Man, Lisa is really letting loose since her break up... That is the 3rd dude she banged this week...
Guy B: Yeah she is stuck in a perpetual game of Man Scotch...
by Failsh3d December 23, 2011
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Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
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